Together
by HorsesandVampires
Summary: Oneshot [AU] Different, in-depth take on 3X08 beginning scene. The guilt is gnawing at her. But he's always there to remind her... and to save her.


_**A/N: **_***hides from torches and pitchforks*… hey guys… long time no fanfiction…**

**Well my faithful readers, I am back (very briefly) with a little AU tag to 3X07/3X08… **

**It's just a little something that I've had brewing in my mind since S2 that I've wanted to get out and the office scene felt like a perfect opportunity. **

**REMINDER: it's AU and obviously a little more in depth than the show version—so pretend like that version didn't happen lol… Enjoy!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Suits—*cries*—the boys and Donna belong to USA Network and Aaron Korsh.**

* * *

_**TOGETHER**_

"_I'm so sorry Harvey."—Donna_

_**Donna POV**_

"Feel better?" The question came out flat. My mind was still reeling and even the old habit of banter would not suffice to settle its overwhelmingly dark mood. I couldn't even put an effort into the sarcasm as I once again let the familiar burn of scotch sear my throat.

The closer did not answer. Instead I followed Harvey's movement out of my peripheral as he crossed the office floor. I could not stop the instinct to look him over. I knew there would be bruises, and I had no doubt that Harvey _had_ beaten the shit out of Stephen Huntley. Yet despite the fact, a traitorous part of my mind still worried that Stephen had held his own. I would always be in Harvey's corner—I knew that now more than ever—but that did not stop the small part from rearing its ugly head with worry.

Some habits never changed.

I watched from the couch as he poured himself a matching glass of scotch, noting the cut lip, brow and the slight bruise under his chin. The lack of significant damage allowed me a small sigh of relief—despite the guilt I felt festering beneath the surface. But as I watched the closer instantly down the first glass, the relief faded into resignation. Harvey may be physically fine, but there was no helping either of our mental states tonight.

"No." The lawyer in question finally answered as he turned towards my position on the couch, another glass already in hand as he settled into the chair to my right.

His answer was not surprising. And I could not help but remember the last time we were in this exact position. That conversation seemed so long ago.

"I should have killed him." Harvey's declaration pulled me back into the present and my eyebrows rose on their own accord. I watched in silence as the closer's hand subconsciously tightened around the scotch glass, bruised knuckles straining into an ugly red.

We were in trouble.

Despite the release of physical violence, tension still rolled off of Harvey in waves. I could tell he was itching for another fight… I sighed softly, surrounded by Harvey's quiet rage. There was no doubt that closer would make Stephen pay, but he should never have to.

_This_ should never have happened.

Harvey had defended his case… he had defended _me_. No matter how much we had both denied it… we knew. And it did nothing to dampen the guilt grinding away at my gut. I was always the one that never needed defending. I always knew. And for the first time in eleven years, I failed.

"I should have known," I admitted quietly, refusing to look at Harvey as I took another generous sip of my scotch.

"Donna not even you could have known _this." _The lawyer's scoff did nothing for my resolve.

"Harvey I was sleeping with the man for nearly a month, I should have known something was up." I seethed and shuddered at yet another reminder of the now blatant fact that I had shared a bed with a murderer.

Even Harvey was unable to stop the flinch at my admission.

"We all make mistakes…" Harvey hedged, and I could tell despite his opinion he was trying to placate me.

It was a noble try, but I was not having any of it.

"This was more than a mistake Harvey," I bit out. "I let him get to me… I let him get to _you_." Self-disgust riddled my tone, and I did nothing to stop it.

"Did you love him?" The closer's inquiry stopped me short, and I found my eyes widening on their own accord. _That was unexpected._

But Harvey was not looking at me. Instead he gazed straight ahead and I knew his mind was elsewhere. I was suddenly struck with the realization that Harvey had been down this road before… with his father. The harshness of the question melted away, replaced with a sincere honesty. Harvey was not goading me, he was asking for the truth.

"I…

I hesitated, gut clenching as the floodgate opened and every memory shared between Stephen and I crashed through my mind_. _

They were all so tainted now.

"No." I finished resolutely, closing my eyes against the onslaught. "_But I could have_."

The quiet truth stunned me, and I felt the tears well up again before I could stop them.

This is why I had that goddamn rule… to prevent disasters like this. But I had given in, because in the end, Stephen wasn't Harvey. And I believed that as long as that line remained, I could protect myself from true heartbreak. But I was wrong… oh _so wrong_. And now, I felt like a traitor… to the one person I swore I would never be.

"I'm sorry," I barely managed to choke the words out, throwing back the rest of my scotch as the tears finally drifted down my cheeks. Damn Stephen Huntley to the greatest depths of hell.

Who knew living life could hurt this much.

I felt the shift in the air and kept my eyes closed. I did not need to see to know Harvey was right in front of me. That familiar energy was hovering before me, its presence as demanding as ever. And I knew I could not ignore it. My eyes opened and all I saw was him.

The closer knelt before me, mere inches away and I could see the previous tension rippling once again. It had returned with a vengeance, but Harvey did not need it to capture my attention. He always had it. I was sure of that now.

"I told you this once, and I'm _not_ going to tell you again," the closer's eyes flashed against mine, "you have _nothing_ to be sorry for."

I looked away before I broke, leaning farther back into the couch. My focus fell to Harvey's hands, noting the fact that he had instinctually caged me in with one hand on either side of my legs. His closeness, normally soothing, only fueled my frustration.

"Harvey I let my guard down because some overly charming British _prat_ came swooping in and flirted with me." I rolled my eyes and hastily wiped at the tears. "I should have never have fallen for it. I shouldn't have broken the code."

Familiar hands on my face drew my attention back to the man in front of me and I shuddered quietly as I felt his fingers gently stroke the tears away.

"If he truly cared about you, he never would have slept with you." The lawyer's quiet declaration broke the silence and my eyes snapped to his. Harvey made no move to release me and as I met his gaze I knew he was traveling back to a moment in time ten years ago. It broke my heart.

Tear tracks stained my cheeks and I understood. I tried to reassure him, my lips forming into the faintest of smiles.

Harvey saw right through it and hands left my face to firmly grasp my own. He did not let them go as he moved to sit next to me, the warmth of him sending a shiver up my side.

"Donna," he let out a ragged breath before continuing, eyes capturing mine and nearly _begging_ me to _listen_, "this is not your fault."

I almost believed him that time. But I could not stop the nagging feeling in my chest, and the words flowed before I could stop them.

"The signs were there Harvey," I pushed on. "Stephen was always just _there_… in the middle of everything… and then he subpoenaed Gianopoulos's daughter in a piss-ass dominance play. I should have known then…

"And I should have known that Hardman planted that memo long before you were fired." Harvey shot back, eyes flashing in the dimmed office light.

I sucked in a breath at the retort, the sound the only echo in the suddenly deafening silence.

I eyed the closer warily, wondering where exactly he was going with this. The admission was completely out of left field. And it was one I never thought I would hear the senior partner make. We never talked about that damn fiasco. _Never_. Hell we refused to even mention its existence. Opting instead to forget the entire mess. And the fact that Harvey was willing to bring it up now spoke volumes.

"That's different." I hedged cautiously. "That wasn't murder."

"It still hurt you," Harvey's gaze found mine again and did not let go. "And I swore to myself that I would never let that happen again." The closer sighed, "But it did. I failed too Donna."

It was all I could do to stop the tears again, and I cursed myself for better control. Harvey rarely admitted failure. And at times like these, I was reminded of how much Harvey Specter saw. And of how much he _knew_.

Of course he would pick up on the real crux in the darkness. Harvey and I were one in the same. We both had the same fears. I had slept with a murderer. And while that knowledge sent a wave of nausea through my bones, it was not what was truly eating me up inside. I had failed. And Donna Paulsen does not fail. Neither does Harvey Specter… yet he was trying his damnedest to shoulder the blame with me.

And it was my job to put an end to it.

"I slapped Daniel Hardman." I stated with finality, pairing his past failure with the event that had rectified it.

Harvey smirked at the memory.

"And I just beat the shit out of Stephen Huntley." The closer countered smugly, eyeing me with that familiar competitive edge.

And just like that, the weight started to ease. I rolled my eyes at his ridiculousness.

"What a pair we make." I murmured softly, smiling for real this time.

We had both messed up. Past and present errors reared forward with unforeseen consequences, but we had somehow prevailed. Despite the missteps, we had mustered up our strength and pulled through. We saved each other. And as I looked back into Harvey's eyes I knew he was promising the same thing as I…

We always would.

"Cheers." Harvey resolved, holding up his glass

Our empty glasses clinked softly against one another and I felt the guilt diminish slightly. It lingered, never quite fading and I knew it would take a while for either of us to heal. But as I sunk further into the couch, and felt Harvey's warmth next to me, I knew.

Eventually we'd be OK.

...

..

.

* * *

**A/N: Whoo boy I am RUSTY… Trial of Five was a LONG time ago lol… my apologies to Donna and Harvey.**

**Say what? Harvey admitted to the memo… O_O [right like that would happen]**

****Oh, and Dear Suits Writers (you know who you are *glares*): Please stop torturing my character! Donna does not deserve it and for the love of God pick someone else to bully next season! This is **_**two seasons in a row**_** people! ~Sincerely, HV.****

**Hope you all enjoyed. Give the little fancy Review button some love or send me a PM—I love to chat, it's a sickness.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-HV**


End file.
